The Monster Within
by LJ1983
Summary: One Shot. During a transformation, David muses about the monster that dwells within him...


_Disclaimer__ - I own nothing of the Incredible Hulk series. The character itself is the creation of Stan Lee, and belongs to Marvel Comics. The iconic 70s series was created by Kenneth Johnson. Rated T for safety._

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**The Monster Within**

It was happening again, much to his despair. He held his head in his hands, trying to halt the damning process which took over his body against his will, attempting to drown out his anger with good thoughts...but it rarely ever came to anything, and the change would still utterly consume him, ruining his clothes, his relationships, and dampening his spirit.

Those sharp spikes of anger shot through his system, overcoming his senses all at once. His valuable, highly intelligent brain felt as though a rush of acid had flowed right through to the center, and his own consciousness again seemed as if it was being pushed aside, making room for a more dominant if primitive personality.

Who would have thought that such a simple, if strong, emotion known as 'anger' would trigger and induce a startling metamorphosis from a mild and meek ordinary man to a primitive, inhuman snarling creature?

No one would know about the monster inside of him at first glance. With every new town he arrived to, with each new face he'd meet, no one had the slightest inkling as to the terrible secret he had tried to keep under a lock and key for what seemed like so many long years.

Doctor David Banner had lived with this..._thing_...for so long. Sometimes he was unable to distinguish the difference between the man and what dwelled beneath.

David still didn't know what had happened all those years ago, why he had strapped himself into that chair and dosed himself in the potentially harmful Gamma radiation, all in the name of exploration, science and finding answers as to why he could not save his wife from dying in a car crash prior to the ill-fated experiment.

Had looking for possible redemption for failing to save Laura been his motive?

He never really knew what was going through his head.

Memories from that fateful night plagued him still; that bright light shining right into his eyes...the supposed failure of the Gamma injection. How when he lost control of his anger during changing the flat tire during the rain storm his brain had begun to boil, and he had lost his grip on thinking...then there was nothingness. Just..._blank._

Until what appeared to be the next morning he found himself kneeling beside a stream, extremely disorientated, tired, his clothes reduced to shredded rags...and a bullet wound to his arm. That very night had marked the first of what he and his scientist partner, Dr Elaina Marks, could only describe as a metamorphosis into a rampaging, muscle-bound sub-human creature with a green tinge to the skin.

The _Hulk, _as a nosy newspaper journalist had coined not long seeing the creature with his own eyes.

The first of many transformations.

And now, hunched over, angered once again over a terrible injustice and fighting the raging spirit which had mightily fought back to gain control, Banner's tears streaked down his face at his latest transformation. He was not who he used to be; a loving husband, friend and gifted scientist. He could never be _him_ again. No matter how much he tried not to think about it, the unwanted thoughts still crept into his head.

_'Laura and Elaina are dead because of you, David.' _They whispered, and David had begun to believe them. It was his fault. He had become that...that..._Hulk._ That was the only word for it, besides _monster_ or_ thing_. It was his fault that it had been unleashed into the world. If he'd only been more focused, more patient, and listened to his head instead of his raging heart then he wouldn't be in this predicament.

Years following the incident, and David still couldn't get a handle on the _Hulk_ lurking inside of him. He desperately wanted to though...he wanted to so bad. But of course, what he wanted had been impossible so far. He wanted to be cured, he wanted to go back to some semblance of reality and normality. He wanted to go _home_. But he couldn't. He couldn't lie and say everything was fine. Every attempt at finding a cure kept failing.

If he could have, David would go back in time, back to the moment he had strapped himself to that Gamma injector without a second thought. He would hit the 'off' switch, make sure that day never would have happened. But it wasn't as simple as that. He would imagine things could be different, he could close his eyes... and pretend that he was going back to work at _Culver_, carrying out experiments with Elaina. Going home to his dear late wife Laura and hold her close to him, tell her that he loved her as much as life itself.

But he couldn't, and that thought alone was what fueled his already raging anger.

And now, his consciousness slipped away slowly as the Hulk took over, falling into a deep dark place at the back of his own mind whilst innate rage and survival took the place of logic and ordered _human_ thinking.

But despite David's fears, even during such chaos, the green skinned creature would never kill.

_"It won't kill because David Banner won't kill!"_ He remembered Elaina telling him firmly from years previously before he utterly slipped away. He wished he could believe that, but he couldn't. For now, he was helpless as the Hulk raged around in his place, and he just had to hope and pray that it never took the life of anyone.

But more than anything, he hoped and prayed for an end to his eternal struggling and suffering.

~ The End ~


End file.
